I was in a conference listening to former NBA star Jeremy Lin. He’s charming, likable, and his stories are inspiring. It’d have been nice to have a photo with him. Luckily, I sat at a front row table close to his exit. Unfortunately, I don’t have the courage and decisiveness to approach him for a photo. Some attendees just walked up to him despite security’s efforts to clear his path. They got photos taken, while I could only think, “What if?”
This is a trivial event. Having a photo with someone famous often is more about bragging or showcasing one’s importance. But it reminds me that people with personalities like mine often miss opportunities and regret not taking actions, especially under time pressure.
What if it’s an important decision like confessing our feelings, or reconciling with someone we might not meet again? Fortunately for these decisions, we usually have more time to think and act. Even if it’s hard to be courageous, we can prepare and do our best.
For situations that happen infrequently and have time constraints, we need to change. One solution is to practice and get used to these situations. Some people deliberately put themselves in uncomfortable situations and learn to get used to rejections, doing things like asking for a discount at Starbucks, talking to strangers on public transport, or performing in public.
But do we really want to change? Sometimes we want to preserve our identity, even when it doesn’t serve us well. If I see myself as an introvert and a sensitive person, do I suddenly want to be a social butterfly or someone who can act boldly in public? But we are also constantly changing. If the change is for the better, should we not embrace it?
We all possess minor weaknesses. I hope to minimize major regrets and not dwell on the smaller ones, as flaws make us human.
A friend sent me this quote by Trevor Noah:
I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done in life, any choice that I’ve made. But I’m consumed with regret for the things I didn’t do, the choices I didn’t make, the things I didn’t say. We spend so much time being afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. But regret is the thing we should fear most. Failure is an answer. Rejection is an answer. Regret is an eternal question you will never have the answer to. “What if…” “If only…” “I wonder what would have…” You will never, never know, and it will haunt you for the rest of your days.
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