Care Deeply, Let Go

Darius Foroux on how to play hard without letting our goals control us: name the game, choose your rules deliberately, care about the process, keep your identity larger than the score, and know when to stop playing.

It might seem paradoxical, but we can care deeply and give our best without getting worked up about the result. As top athletes say, focus on the next play. Know what game you want to play and enjoy it.

Excerpts:

You need goals because they give the game direction. But accomplishing the goal is not the purpose.

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The question is not only, “Am I making progress?” It is also, “Do I want to live this way while I make progress?”

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You can care deeply and still hold the result lightly. Be fully engaged in the work, the relationship, the conversation, or the challenge in front of you. Play well.

Try to win.

Just remember that winning was never the only reason to play.