Ryu's Blog

Cato has some interesting discussions on marriage this week. Coontz gives a nice history on how the role of marriage has evolved, while Stevenson and Wolfers use economics to explain what caused these changes. Here’s an widely quoted except from Stevenson and Wolfers:

So what drives modern marriage? We believe that the answer lies in a shift from the family as a forum for shared production, to shared consumption. In case the language of economic lacks romance, let’s be clearer: modern marriage is about love and companionship. Most things in life are simply better shared with another person: this ranges from the simple pleasures such as enjoying a movie or a hobby together, to shared social ties such as attending the same church, and finally, to the joint project of bringing up children. Returning to the language of economics, the key today is consumption complementarities — activities that are not only enjoyable, but are more enjoyable when shared with a spouse. We call this new model of sharing our lives “hedonic marriage”.

Reading these articles reminds me how much our views on marriage have changed. When I was young, it seems that getting married and raising children is a path everyone follows. But nowadays marriage and child bearing become much more optional. Sex before marriage is much more common and tolerated by society. Psychologists have found that raising children are very costly and is among the largest source of stress, quarrels, and unhappiness (on the other hand, married couple tend to be more happy and successful, or perhaps more happy and successful people tend to get married).

I currenlty also view marriage and child bearing as something optional. Having the right partner is much more important than ‘building a family’, and I probably prefer to marry than to remain single if finding the right partner (let’s not discuss what ‘right’ means for now as it’d easily go into love or something that’s even harder to pin down). Children for me are much less important than spouse, and I’m slightly tending toward not having them, but ultimately it should be something decided jointly by the couples. Timing is also not important for me. Many men I know prefer to focus on work first before getting married. Although I don’t think I will marry anytime soon, if I’m certain about someone I want to be with, marrying sooner or later (if at all) doesn’t make a difference for me. It’s also interesting to note that many philosophers in the past don’t marry. Perhaps they prefer solidarity or spending more time on intellectual pursuits. Or perhaps like me, their personality makes them hard to live with.