We know relationship is ultimately what matters. So why do we get impatient so easily? No tolerance for incompetence or laziness? Helping others to develop better habits or to improve? All these might be legitimate reasons, but often they are self-serving. And usually they don’t facilitate long term behavior change and just worsen relationship. So less shaming and punishment, and more love and kindness.
Posts Tagged ‘relationship’
Be Nice
Posted in Daily Life, Happiness, Reflection, Relationship, tagged Happiness, parenting, reflection, relationship on October 21, 2022| Leave a Comment »
Her
Posted in Movies, Reflection, Relationship, tagged Her, movie, relationship, review on March 23, 2014| 2 Comments »
Even though it might not be realistic, I like its portrayal of the complexity (or simplicity?) of human emotions and relationships. I can imagine myself experiencing similar emotions.
Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel and from here on out I’m not going to feel anything new – just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.
……
It was exciting to see her grow – both of us grow and change together. But then, that’s the hard part – growing without growing apart, or changing without it scaring the other person.
–Theodore
Life is messy, relationship even more so. It’s not a surprise that more and more people are choosing different ways of life. Japan could well be the pioneer.
In the end, there is only so much we understand. But for most people, This’s probably not an issue.
I don’t know, I’m not in it. But you know what, I can over-think everything and find a million ways to doubt myself. But since Charles left I’ve been thinking about that part of me, and I realized I’m here only briefly. And in my time here, I want to allow myself… joy. So fuck it.
–Amy
Before Midnight and staying in love
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Before Midnight, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Connection, relationship on October 5, 2013| 1 Comment »
I still remember how much I enjoyed watching Before Sunrise (here‘s my previous post on the movie). It portrays the kind of relationship I’d like to be in, not to mention the beautiful, idealistic encounter. I equally enjoyed Before Sunset: a more realistic take on relationship and life. Nevertheless it’s still a short encounter with the two main characters having a lovely conversations and stroll around Paris.
Another 9 years we learn that Jesse and Celine stayed together. They continue to share great chemistry and enjoy each other’s company, but these alone might not be enough to keep their relationship going. The old saying that it’s easy to fall in love but hard to stay in love rings true. I used to think if two people love each other and are willing to communicate calmly then any problems can be resolved. But things don’t always work that way. Men and women tend to approach things differently. Differences in personality, values, and objectives also make communication more difficult, and people are bias and not necessarily truth seeker. The biggest obstacle to the “if we communicate then everything will be fine” is emotion. Emotion is necessary for a spontaneous and fun relationship, but it also makes the kind of communication needed to resolve issues more difficult. I guess to maintain a relationship, we need to know when to be rational and when to be emotional. Some self-deception or illusion about the relationship and more tolerance would probably help as well.
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