As in my previous post, I’m still not ready to commit to a PhD yet. Doing a PhD entails huge opportunity costs. My current role as an economic analyst in an investment bank is one of the few jobs that can keep me from being dissatisfied and pays well. It could be the closest thing to an ideal job in the private sector for me (starting my own business might be another one as it seems to give lots of autonomy). Although finance might not be what I found most interesting in economics and most of what I do is too short-term oriented for my taste, my position allows me to keep in touch with economic issues everyday. Ideally I’d love to further develop my knowledge in a wider range of issues and have more autonomy in deciding what I want to do (sadly, these don’t seem to be possible in academia before attaining a Professorship either).
One reason why I can’t commit to a PhD is probably similar to why I didn’t become an artist. Just as I don’t have the courage to become an artist as I’m not confident in my skills and passion, I’m equally not confident in my ability to succeed in the academic world. Doing well in a master degree says little about one’s fit in doing a PhD and much less about future success/satisfaction in the academic world. I’ve known enough people personally who were disillusioned by the academic world or did PhD for the wrong reasons and ended up being dissatisfied. Those who do well seem to know clearly what they want and value in life or because their strengths or interests skew strongly toward a certain area. In this sense, being above average in many areas but not exceptionally well in any can be more a curse than a blessing.
Life is never easy, and trained as an economist, the best I can do is to maximize my utility within my constraints (knowledge and personality endowment, financial limitations, etc.). Without knowing clearly what my preferences are, I remain unable to solve this simple maximization problem. My inner psychologist, on the other hand, tells me that most life decisions like this are not rationally planned. If I got fired in this financial turmoil, maybe I’ll have more time to reflect and come to a conclusion. But for now, I’m hanging in here to see first hand how brutal and cyclical the industry can be.
Side note
If I were to do a PhD in economics, GeorgeMasonUniversity will be among my top choices (or maybe these two if I could manage to get myself into). Robin Hanson, Tyler Cowen, Russell Roberts, and Bryan Caplan are a few GMU economists whose thoughts I greatly respect (here is a nice article on GMU economists, and many of them keep wonderful blogs). Being able to spend time with these people would be a great experience, and for me, doing a PhD will be more a consumption than an investment choice.
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