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Posts Tagged ‘moment’

Duhkha

“We are always getting ready to live but never living” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Duḥkha: commonly translated as “suffering”, “pain”, or “unhappiness”…Its meaning depends on the context, and may refer more specifically to the “unsatisfactoriness” or “unease” of mundane life, not being at ease when driven by craving/grasping and ignorance.”

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Wouldn’t it be nice to entertain friends with music after a meal, jam with others when we feel like it, or just express ourselves through music anytime?

I started learning piano at the age of 37. After about 2 years, I have learned and recorded some music I like (here‘s a link to the recordings). I wish I could play these pieces whenever and wherever I want. But in reality, after finishing a piece, I tend to forget it quickly once I stop practicing. Something that I could play from memory one day, would feel like a new piece after a few week’s gap.

Perhaps this is because I don’t have music training when I was young, or don’t have enough hours of practice. A friend told me he doesn’t forget the music he learned while he was a teenager and can still play them after decades.

Space repetition (refreshing my memories by practicing a piece periodically) is probably the best way to keep them in my long term memory. But given time limit and the infinite number of music I want to learn, I haven’t been revisiting the songs I’ve learned so far.

So for now, every recording is a fleeting moment. Something I can experience but can’t hold onto, a bit like trying to hang onto our peak physical or mental ability as we age. While sad, it’s not as bad as some other aspects of life. Unlike parenting a kid at a certain age, once that period is gone, it’s gone forever. The hope is that as my piano skill gets better, the moment might last longer. Or at the minimum, I can relearn a piece faster and perhaps better.

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