Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Life Design’

“But men labor under a mistake. The better part of the man is soon plowed into the soil for compost. By a seeming fate, commonly called necessity, they are employed, as it says in an old book, laying up treasures which moth and rust will corrupt and thieves break through and steal.” — Henry David Thoreau

There comes a point in everyone’s life when time matters more than money. Ever since I read Jacob’s Early Retirement Extreme nearly two decades ago, I’ve set a goal to save enough to reach financial freedom. I think the mid-40s is about the sweet spot to begin a new chapter. At this age, I still have the energy and health, along with the resources, to do the things I want. And I might discover other mountains that I’d like to climb.

Facing the unknown requires courage. And giving up a decent-paying job, along with the perks and status that come with it, isn’t easy. But once one had a taste of those things, they start to feel less special. While I enjoy meeting smart people, having intellectual conversations, and learning new things, I’m less interested in the lifestyle many people in my industry pursue. People in high-paying jobs often network, socialize, and spend on expensive status markers—high-end watches, alcohol, cars, houses, luxury travel, and fine dining. I’m more drawn to a simple, minimalist life. I don’t have the courage to live like the toilet cleaner in the film Perfect Days, but I do believe I have enough to live meaningfully.

Most of the things I enjoy in life are free (running, drawing, playing basketball) or relatively inexpensive for the amount of enjoyment they provide (video games, streaming services, books). Things can be costly, but diminishing returns kick in quickly. I think it’s better to own a small number of high-quality things that truly bring joy than to accumulate too much to keep track of. Often, expensive purchases are positional goods, signals for showing off, rather than sources of intrinsic value. Experiences like travel are one area where money can help. But to maximize enjoyment, it’s best to do them occasionally, so we don’t get used to them and take them for granted.

For me, the ultimate freedom is being able to thrive under any circumstances. As Thoreau discovered in Walden, it doesn’t take much to live a good life. Time, attention, and freedom may be the most valuable luxuries. Or in Thoreau’s words, “Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.”

After my kids were born, I started revisiting my childhood hobbies. With more resources and a more mature mindset, I’ve been able to improve and surpass my younger self in many areas. Focusing on my hobbies may not be a good way to contribute to society. But as long as I continue to learn and grow, maybe I would discover new possibilities I can’t yet imagine.

Perfect Days and having enough:

Read Full Post »

Debbie Millman talks about her life with Jonathan Fields in this interview. It’s nice to find people who seem to have experienced the same feelings as we do. Even though Debbie is in her fifties, she felt like she was the same person when she was 14. But when she read through her diary, she realized she’s definitely not the same person. There are also parts of her that didn’t change. She is still insecure, still afraid of change, and still worried that it might be her last chance for happiness, for love, and for success, the same feelings that she had when she was young.

There are many takeaways from the interview, but one thing I think we all should do is to write a dream list of things we want to do, achieve, or experience.  The key to a well-lived life seems to be to know what we want and do our best to make it happen, but the problem for most of us is that we don’t know what we want.

Some excerpts from Maria @ brain pickings. There are more on her site:

The one common denominator [that great thinkers and creators] have shared with me over the years is that they all feel like they have to get up every day and do it again. They all feel like they may very well be discovered as phonies, they very well may never, ever achieve what they had hoped.

……

This is where we run into trouble in terms of being fulfilled… You have to make your own happiness, wherever you are. Your job isn’t going to make you happy, your spouse isn’t going to make you happy, the weather isn’t going to make you happy… You have to decide what you want, and you have to find that way of doing it, whether or not the outside circumstances are going to participate in your success… You have to be able to create your own happiness, period. And if you can’t, then you need to find a good shrink who can help you figure out what it’s going to take.

……

I’m a big proponent of “busy is a decision.” You decide what you want to do and the things that are important to you. And you don’t find the time to do things — you make the time to do things. And if you aren’t doing them because you’re “too busy,” it’s likely not as much of a priority as what you’re actually doing

 

 

 

Read Full Post »