Mark Twain: “I’ve never let school interfere with my education.”
In today’s hyper-competitive, winner-take-all society, it’s understandable why many parents are anxious about their children’s education. The Tiger mom parenting style is not uncommon, and most parents want to send their kids to the best schools possible. In many parts of Asia, this means the kids have to start early. In Hong Kong for example, a decent family would send their children to nice play groups at 1 years old (sometimes younger), then try to get them into a good pre-nursery school, then nursery school, pre-kindergarten, kindergarten, primary school, and so forth, not to mention other tutoring and extracurricular activities like drawing, music, or ballet lessons. Getting into a good school at each stage would increase the chance that the kids can get into another good school. It’s like an arms race that neither parents nor the children can afford not to play. South Korea is famous for it, and it’s not a surprise that students there seem unhappy.
Increasingly I’m inclined to opt out of this game. First, most studies find that genes play a big role in determining a person’s intelligence and personality (see here for a short summary, or Bryan’s highly readable book on parenting), so to a large extent a lot of the spending on formal education are likely wasteful.
Second, it’s far from clear that putting your kids in schools with high-performing peers (i.e. the best or most competitive schools) is the best for their development (see this study for example, which is consistent with findings cited in Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book on the underdogs and Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman’s book on competition). These studies suggest that sending one’s kid to an average school might not be such a bad thing. It also fits my experience. The schools and university I went to aren’t particularly good, which is probably a reason why I managed to excel in them and went on to top institutions for post graduate studies. Doing well in an average schools boost one’s confidence, and one can use the extra free time to play and learn things outside school.
Lastly, while nurture matters, it’s unclear the traditional education system provides a good environment for learning. David Friedman makes a good case for unschooling (more here and here). My kids probably won’t be as smart as his and I might not have as much time to spend with them (though that’s another personal decision), so unschooling might not work for me. But I like the concept. I think education is all about learning how to learn. And it’s important for children to learn how to take responsibility for their own education, make their own decisions, and spend their time. As Peter Gray argues in his book Free to Play (excerpts below), traditional schooling doesn’t foster these traits, and if anything, it does the opposite.
There is no one size fits all answer, and we need to find paths that suit us. At the margin, I think parents should be more relaxed about their kids’ formal education and behave more like mentors to the kids’ development. It takes courage to not do things that the society deems normal (like go to a good school, take a good job, buy a nice house and car, get married and have a family, work until you are old and retire). But as Steve Jobs’ famous ad said, we should Think Different.
Below are some excerpts from Peter Gray’s book Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life
Free play is the means by which children learn to make friends, overcome their fears, solve their own problems, and generally take control of their own lives. It is also the primary means by which children practice and acquire the physical and intellectual skills that are essential for success in the culture in which they are growing. Nothing that we do, no amount of toys we buy or “quality time” or special training we give our children, can compensate for the freedom we take away. The things that children learn through their own initiatives, in free play, cannot be taught in other ways.
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The school system has directly and indirectly, often unintentionally, fostered an attitude in society that children learn and progress primarily by doing tasks that are directed and evaluated by adults, and that children’s own activities are wasted time.
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Every time we reduce children’s opportunities for free play by increasing their time at school or at other adult-directed activities, we reduce further their opportunities to learn to control their own lives, to learn that they are not simply victims of circumstances and powerful others.
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Curiosity drew the children to the computer and motivated them to explore it; playfulness motivated them to practice many computer skills; and sociability allowed each child’s learning to spread like wildfire to dozens of other children.
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The famous developmental psychologist Jean Piaget noted long ago, in a classic study of children playing marbles, that children acquire a higher understanding of rules when they play under their own direction than when they are directed by adults. Adult direction leads to the assumption that rules are determined by an outside authority and thus not to be questioned. When children play just among themselves, however, they come to realize that rules are merely conventions, established to make the game more fun and more fair, and can be changed to meet changing conditions.
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Our system of grading and ranking to motivate students seems almost perfectly designed to promote cynicism and cheating. Students are constantly told about the value of high grades. Advancement through the system and eventual freedom from it depend on them. Students understandably become convinced that high grades are the be-all and end-all of their schoolwork. By the time they are eleven or twelve years old, most are realistically cynical about the idea that school is fundamentally a place for learning. They realize that much of what they are required to do is senseless and that they will forget most of what they are tested on shortly after the test.
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Whether your child succeeds or fails is up to your child, not you, and the measure of success or failure must be your child’s, not yours. The world is full of unhappy lawyers, doctors, and business executives, and many clerks and janitors are happy, fulfilled, and decent. Career success is not life success. You can be happy or unhappy in any profession, but you can’t be happy, at least not for long stretches, if you feel that your life is not yours.
Here is Sugata Mitra showing how kids in India can learn by themselves.
PS: I can’t wait to read Bryan Caplan’s upcoming book on the case against education.
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