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Posts Tagged ‘experience vs remembering self’

Experience fully first before capture:

It didn’t come up in our conversation, but there was a great section in The Myth of Experience about the “remembering self” versus the “experiencing self,” and how “when it comes to happiness, moderation is key. Excessively striving to capture every moment of a given experience can have adverse effects on our experiencing selves. We may reduce the immediate joy those moments provide. We may also start doing things not because they make us genuinely happy but primarily because they produce moments that we can easily capture and share with others.” This reminded me of a talk I recently watched by The Marginalian writer Maria Popova. Popova has a huge Instagram following and posts beautiful nature photos, but in the talk she said: “I made a pact with myself…to not take a picture of anything ever until I’ve actually taken it in first, which means some of the most beautiful things I see I don’t document, because they’re fleeting.” Recent research has found that taking pictures can “undermine enjoyment” of an experience, particularly when the photos are taken “with intention to share.”

David Epstein (link to full post)

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Kids are a source of wonders, but also frustrations.

Traveling with young kids can be extremely taxing, but they also create great memories.

Luckily, in most cases we tend to remember the good times, and forget the daily frustrations.

Or in Kahneman’s terms, our experienced self might feel stressed, but our remembering self will thank us for creating those special memories.

I often remind myself to take a long view, focusing on building good relationships while downplaying the daily, short term stuff that annoys me. But it’s easier said than done.

It’s a constant challenge.

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