Ryu's Blog

Learn and Create

Recent Posts

  • Spectator vs. Participant

    Rooting for a favorite team or player is like riding a roller coaster. When a team I support loses an important game, I might feel down for a whole day. While many people find joy in cheering for their heroes, I find deeper satisfaction in doing things well myself. This comes from a desire for agency. I may feel elated when those I admire succeed or disappointed when they falter, but ultimately, I’m just a spectator. Their outcomes are beyond my control. When I’m the one performing, I can influence the result. If I don’t play well in a basketball game, I can reflect, adjust my training, and improve. Success isn’t guaranteed, but at least I can act.

    That said, I appreciate greatness in others and draw inspiration from it. When I see manga or illustrations I love, I pick up my sketchbook, hoping to capture that same magic someday. After hearing a moving melody at a concert, I return to practice, wanting to evoke the same feeling. Watching Slam Dunk or NBA games drives me to the neighborhood court. After binging Blue Box, I made a plan to start learning badminton.

    At my age, I’m unlikely to become a professional. But if I enjoy the process, that’s already a win. There’s always room to grow, and each small improvement brings its own joy. Mastering a tough piano passage or seeing my shooting percentage rise after weeks of effort offers a satisfaction no passive observation can match. If I crave competition, I can measure myself against my past self or others in my age group. It’s encouraging to know I can still improve, defying the idea that peak performance belongs only to the young.

    There’s nothing wrong with being a dedicated fan. Fans created culture, support artists and athletes, and build community. We need both participants and appreciators. But for me, the deepest fulfillment comes from doing the work myself. True satisfaction rarely comes from watching perfection, but from experiencing growth.

    It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. – Theodore Roosevelt

  • Friendship

    Noah Smith has written a good article on making and having friends after age 30. For an introvert like myself, big groups and frequent socializing events are too draining. However, I do enjoy occasional small group gatherings with friends or interesting people. The challenge is consciously planning and seeking out opportunities to make these connections happen, even if only occasionally. Smith also touches on what constitutes close friendships.

    There’s no hard-and-fast boundary between close friends and more casual friends; it’s a spectrum. Closeness tends to develop gradually over time, and it feels a little different in each case…

    There are basically two things that define a really close friendship: understanding, and interdependence. Your close friend has to understand who you really are, and you also have to know that you can count on them if you need help. If a friendship has only one of those things and not the other, it’s not really a close one. 

    Understanding gets built up over time, but it can’t reach a truly deep level without confessions. We all have certain things that we’re reluctant to tell other people about ourselves — not necessarily secrets, but core truths of our lives that we don’t like yelling at everyone we meet at a party. Occasionally these might be facts about your life, but usually they’re just vulnerabilities and desires and fears. 

    In order to make a really close friend, you have to tell them at least some of those things, and they have to tell you theirs. You have to have moments when you open yourself to another person and make yourself vulnerable to them. And you also have to have moments where they do this for you. You don’t both have to do it at the same time, but it has to happen on both sides….

    The other thing you need for a close friendship is interdependence — you need to know you can rely on your friend, and they need to know they can rely on you. There’s no way to prove this in an absolute sense, of course — you’ll almost certainly never know if your friend would really lay down their life for you, because that sort of situation almost never actually comes up…

    And I agree with his conclusion:

    So I think you have to work at it. Having friends is one of the most important components of a complete, fulfilled human life. It’s just too important to leave entirely to chance.

  • Sketches: Blue Box II

    “We talked it over, and he was really torn at first. Ultimately, we decided we would break up if either of us started lagging in our careers. We couldn’t go back to how things were once we knew we liked each other. And I couldn’t keep imagining how things might go wrong without actually giving it a shot.” – Karen

    “We always told each other about our lives, motivating each other. Even when I wanted more, I kept making excuses about not getting in her way. That’s why…it made my heart ache…thinking about how silly it was that despite how much I cared about her, I never told her how I felt just because I was embarrassed. I felt pathetic. She was always the cool one. Just like with swimming, she always chooses to challenge herself rather than be afraid or embarrassed.” – Haryu

  • Piano & Violin: A Town with an Ocean View

    This is my second time performing with Sky, serving as his accompanist for his recital. I wasn’t as nervous as before, but during the performance, I still felt my heart racing and leg shaking. I told myself that nothing really matters–especially after 100 years–and no one cares how I perform. I should just play freely and enjoy the moment with my son. If it turns out well and brings others joy, that’s an added bonus. Before I started, I also tried to imagine Kiki flying over a town by the ocean.

    There’s a child who performed before us in the recital who didn’t care how others perceive him. He might not have had the best technique, but he played with confidence, and everyone could see that he was enjoying himself. I think he’s cool, and I hope to be more like him someday.

  • Sketches: Blue Box

    “‘Like-minded souls striving for the same goal,’ huh? Then I guess when practice gets tough, they will start thinking of each other. Knowing that someone else is working just as hard as they are…encouraging each other…I bet that’s the kind of relationship they have.” – Hina

    Taiki’s note to self: “I’ll get my smash in!”
    Chinatsu’s note to Taiki: “I’ll get my shot in!”

  • Piano and Drawing: Kimi Ni Todoke

    Lyrics and Translation:

    Original / Romaji LyricsEnglish Translation
    Yasashii hidamari ni chaimu ga direi suru
    Hoho wo naderu kaze ibuki wa fukakunatteku
    		In that gentle spot warmed by the sun, the chime is delayed
    The wind brushing my cheeks turns into my deep breath
    Toomawari no namida namae tsuketa ashita
    Kasanaru miraiiro no rain
    		Roundabout tears, the tomorrow we named
    Are all overlapping future-colored lines
    Adokenai konna kimochi mo
    Hajiketobu hodo waraiaeta hi mo
    Taisetsu ni sodateteikeru youni
    Togiretogire no toki wo koete
    Takusan no hajimete wo kureta
    Tsugatteyuke todoke
    		These childish feelings
    The days we laughed together happily
    I hope we come to treasure them
    You surpassed this disconnected time
    And gave me lots of firsts
    I’ll connect them to you, I’ll reach you
    Houkago no yuuyami warau kimi no senaka
    Hisokana sasayaki fureta koto no nai omoi no naka
    		The after school sunset, your back, as you’re laughing
    Secret whispers, inside these untouched feelings
    Boku no naka no kimi to kimi no naka no boku de
    Karamaru miraiiro no rain
    		The you inside of me, and the me inside of you
    Are all interweaving future-colored lines
    Ameagari no machi no nioi to
    Yumemitaina himitsu wo mune ni daite
    Nandomo nakisou ni natte mata warau
    Kangaeru yori zutto hayaku
    Sono mune ni tobikometara ii
    Tsunagatteyuke todoke
    		The smell of the town after the rain
    And the dream-like secret I hold in my heart
    So many times I’ve felt like crying, but then laughed instead
    Rather than thinking about it, hurry up
    It’s fine if you just fly into my heart
    To connect to you, to reach you
    Nani yori mo daijina kimi no mae de
    Kizutsukanai youni daiji ni shiteta no wa sou jibun
    Sono hitogoto ga moshimo sayonara no kawari ni natteshimattemo
    Ari no mama subete
    		In front of you, cherished more than anyone
    is someone who cherishes you so that you won’t get hurt, that’s right, it’s me
    Even if your words somehow become “goodbye” instead
    Everything will be as it is
    Adokenai konna kimochi mo
    Hajiketobu hodo waraiaeta hi mo
    Taisetsu ni sodateteikeru youni
    Honno sukoshi otona ni natteku
    Kimi ni naritai boku wo koete
    Tsunagatteyuke
    Ima sugu kimi ni
    Todoke
    		These childish feelings
    The days we laughed together happily
    I hope we come to treasure them
    I’ll  become just a little grown up
    Surpassing the me that wants to be just like you
    To connect to you
    Right now
    to reach you

  • Futile Sport Club?

    No matter how much I run, my score isn’t improving.

    I’m no longer a child who can dream of becoming a pro.

    Is sport club activity a futile pursuit?

    It’s just a club, and there are countless reasons to give up.

    Today’s effort won’t be rewarded today.

    The moment of reward will only happen in the future.

    One shot, one serve, one touch down, one smash, one spike.

    Are all the efforts and hard work truly useless?

    Are teammates and friends who I can bond with and stand shoulder to shoulder useless?

    Let’s join sport club.

  • Sketches: Persona 5 II

    “If I do not have belief in my own abilities, I will never come to accomplish anything.” – Yusuke Kitagawa

    “So this is the heart of a man…It is ugly… yet beautiful as well. That duality is what makes humanity such an interesting subject…” – Yusuke Kitagawa

  • Sketches: Persona 5

    “Who’re You Livin’ Your Life For?… Maybe You Should Stop Tryin’ To Live For Them, And Just Try Livin’ For Yourself.” – Ryuji Sakamoto

    “But I’ve Realized Now… As Long As I’m Bein’ Myself, I’ll Always Have Somewhere I Can Fit In.” – Ryuji Sakamoto

  • First Solo Piano Recital

    Although I was not as nervous as I was during my first duet performance with Sky last year, my performance was far from ideal. Despite all the breathing exercises I tried, my heart was still beating faster than normal. I felt rushed during the performance, couldn’t fully focus on the sound, and made more mistakes than usual. The piano was unfamiliar, so I overpedalled on a Baroque piece. If my perfect condition playing at home is a 10, this would probably be a 6 or 7.

    How nice it would be, if I could feel time slows down during the performance, allowing me to just listen to the sound and enjoy the music, rather than being carried away by nervousness and fear of making mistakes.

    Here’s the recital recording:

    And here’s a home recording I did the next day.