Although I was not as nervous as I was during my first duet performance with Sky last year, my performance was far from ideal. Despite all the breathing exercises I tried, my heart was still beating faster than normal. I felt rushed during the performance, couldn’t fully focus on the sound, and made more mistakes than usual. The piano was unfamiliar, so I overpedalled on a Baroque piece. If my perfect condition playing at home is a 10, this would probably be a 6 or 7.
How nice it would be, if I could feel time slows down during the performance, allowing me to just listen to the sound and enjoy the music, rather than being carried away by nervousness and fear of making mistakes.
Robert Schumann composed Kinderszenen in February and March 1838, during a separation from his fiancée Clara Wieck. He writes to her: “Perhaps an echo of your words when you wrote me, ‘I sometimes seemed to you like a child.’ In short, it was as if I were clothed in wings when I wrote the thirty droll little things, of which I selected about twelve and named them ‘Kinderszenen’ … they make quite an impression when I perform them, particularly on me.” Clara was also impressed: “It’s true, isn’t it, that they belong only to the two of us? I simply can’t put them out of my mind, they are so simple, so heart-warming, so very much you”
I recently took the ABRSM Grade 5 performance exam to assess my skills and see if I would like to pursue it at higher levels in the future. The results weren’t as good as I hoped, but somehow I don’t feel discouraged.
A bit of background: I began learning piano three and a half years ago when my kids started taking lessons. I didn’t have formal musical training prior to that, aside from playing the guitar and saxophone in high school and university, which I mostly learned through books and friends.
During the past few years, I had followed the ABRSM syllabus from Grades 1 to 4 on my own without taking exams, while also explored other pieces I enjoy, from classical to movie themes as well as music from anime and games.
Since I don’t need a piano qualification—it’s just a hobby—the exam mainly helped assess my skills from the perspective of more experienced pianists and provided motivation to perform pieces to a higher standard.
But the downside is the significant time and repetition required to perfect the pieces. Preparing for the exam also limited my time to learn new pieces or pursue other musical interests, such as singing while playing or performing duets with my child.
So is it worth doing the exam? I’m not sure and keeping my option open. I don’t plan to take more exams until I reach the Grade 8 level. By then, if my boy is still learning piano (my elder one is also taking Grade 5 exam this year), perhaps that would provide an additional motivation for me to take another exam with them.
I started practicing this piece after listening to Vikingur’s recording, beginning with his usual gentle touch and progressing to a forceful resounding climax. In an interview, he mentioned that this Organ Sonata is the piece that he returns to most often: reminding him of the inevitability of time, life, and change. Here’s Vikingur’s Tiny Desk concert.
I have fond memory of this game, as it was the first JRPG I played. I think it stands the test of time even after two decades. Nobuo Uematsu’s soundtrack was great, and this simple opera scene was nicely done. It successfully kindled my kids’ interest in musical/opera.
Lyrics:
Oh, Maria Oh, Maria Though I call you from afar Will this message reach your heart? Oh, how I long to be with you
Oh my hero, my beloved, Shall we still be made to part? Your promises of perennial love Yet sing here in my heart
I’m the darkness, you’re the starlight Shining brightly from afar Through hours of despair, I offer this prayer To you, my evening star
Must my final vows exchanged Be with him and not with you? Were you only here to quiet my fear! Oh, speak, guide me anew
Maria!
Draco! I knew you would return to me, my love
Insolent rogue! Knave of the western hold! Would you address my queen-to-be Maria?
Never shall you have Maria’s hand I will die before that day comes
Then we duel!
I yield, this day is yours, Draco Curse you, should you let Maria go
Peace then, for you have my word With me, she’ll know nothing of this
Maria! Maria! I love you so!
Ralse y Draco: Maria! Maria! Return to me!
I am thankful, my beloved For your tenderness and grace I see in your eyes, so gentle and wise All doubts and fears erased
Though the hours take no notice Of what fate might have in store
Maria, Draco and Ralse: Our love, come what may Will never age a day I’ll wait forevermore I’ll wait forevermore
Snowflakes falling on your face A cold wind blows away The laughter from this treasured place But in our memories it stays
This is where we say farewell And the wind, it feels a little colder now Here time’s run out like a spell, But laughter’s our vow
This is where we saw it through Thick and thin – this friendship it was built to last Here we swore that we’d be true To bonds that were forged in our past
Snowflakes blowing, but the view’s Obscured by history I still remember it with you Like I’m stuck in mixed realities
This is where we say goodbye And I’m stronger for the time I shared with you It helps me hold my head up high In my heart I’m with you
There is where the snow falls now Cold and hard, and yet it falls upon my brow Something keeps me warm inside Some dream keeps me going through the night
Rick Beato did an excellent interview with Keith Jarrett, providing nice background on Keith and jazz. Keith’s reactions to listening to his old piano performances are amazing to witness.
I came across Keith Jarrett’s albums when I was in university and have been a fan since. Tim Harford talked about how he turned an unplayable piano into one of the best live performances in Koln.
Keith: Once I was working on some piece and I said, I don’t think I can play this. It’s too hard.
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