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Posts Tagged ‘life’

Eric Barker has a wonderful post summarising Camus’ thoughts on finding meaning in life. A good reminder to paint our own canvas and live with passion, even when things are tough and life seems meaningless. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to always be kind and forgiving, even to those I love, but it’s a goal worth aiming for.

Excerpts:

Camus isn’t telling you that life is pointless; he’s telling you that life has no given point. The point is what you do, and how honestly you do it. Camus didn’t say there is no meaning; he said there is no meaning unless you live as if there is. You have to earn it. With action. To live so deliberately, so unapologetically in the face of The Absurd that you become your own answer.

Real freedom is choosing, but with no promise of success, no cosmic guarantee. It’s acting as if it matters when you know it might not. And if that makes you uncomfortable, good. That means you’re paying attention. Freedom isn’t liberation from constraints; it’s what happens when you acknowledge, without excuse, that you are the sole author of your actions. Because freedom isn’t an escape from fear. It’s choosing in spite of it. It’s stepping into the uncertainty without needing to know how it ends…

The world may be absurd, but your actions aren’t. That solidarity isn’t a reward for good people; it’s how you become one…

Camus wrote about The Absurd as a challenge. When life refuses to give you meaning, you don’t give up. Camus tells us: the only way to survive the universe’s indifference is to become stubbornly, gloriously alive anyway. He wanted us to pour ourselves into everything: love, art, work, friendship, the whole messy buffet of human existence…

Most of our lives won’t be remembered long after we’re gone. But maybe, if we’re lucky, someone will remember the way we made them laugh until they cried, or the way we kissed them in the kitchen while the pasta boiled over, or the way we cared, stupidly and stubbornly, about something that didn’t matter to anyone but us.

The moments I remember most, the ones that feel lit from within, aren’t the logical ones. They aren’t efficient or strategic. They’re messy. They’re stupid. But they’re passionate. They’re the arguments that ended in laughter, the friendships that started with confessions, the blog posts that somehow arrived at clarity through sheer stubborn intensity. So yes, let’s live with passion. Let’s love like idiots, work like maniacs, and create like children with crayons and no concern for staying inside the lines.

It’s easier, of course, to detach. To call things meaningless and retreat into irony or intellect or whatever shield we’ve built to keep the world at a distance. But nothing grows in that space. To live with passion is to risk being broken. But it’s also the only way to be whole…

A while back, during a particularly grim stretch of what I call “my life”, I thought the lesson was detachment. I thought Camus was saying nothing matters, so don’t get too close. But I was wrong. He wasn’t asking us to step back. He was daring us to step closer. To love anyway. To create anyway.

There’s no epiphany. Just small, stubborn acts. A soft defiance. You love people who might not love you back. To be kind, even when kindness feels futile. To forgive someone who doesn’t say sorry. To write something no one will ever read, or plant something you might not live to see bloom. Because you’re free. The only meaning is the meaning we make.

Accept the responsibility. Enjoy the companionship of friends. Feel the passion in those moments that forge memories. And, if we embrace these things, it’s more than worth it. Life isn’t meaningless; it’s just a blank canvas upon which we paint.

Let’s see the world as it is: messy, indifferent, occasionally beautiful, filled with both disappointments and joys.

The Absurd doesn’t go away. But if you live with passion, you stop needing it to.

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Playing sports with my boys has been a wonderful way to bond. We’ve taken lessons, watched videos, and practiced together. I didn’t have much formal training as a child and didn’t train efficiently, so I’m glad I can now relive some of my childhood dreams. Though I’m no longer young and need more recovery time, I’ve become more conscientious and train in a more productive way, and there are far more resources available today.

My ten year old son is already better at basketball than I was at his age. One of our rituals is playing one-on-one at the end of practice. Like Sawakita from Slam Dunk, we want to see at what age he can beat me when I’m playing seriously. I think he’ll feel the same satisfaction and joy like Sawakita did the first time he wins. This motivates me to stay fit and keep improving so I can be a worthy opponent.

One of this year’s most satisfying moments was winning a two-on-two pickup game against two middle/high school teenagers. While my son struggled on defense because of the height difference, he made his shots and held his own on offense. That experience inspired me to look for more parent–child team competitions so we can train and improve together.

Our family also started learning badminton together, and I’m considering integrating sports training into some of our trips. It seems like a great way to meet like-minded people and have fun while traveling.

Recent one-on-one games (I called it the Sawakita challenge):

Game 1:

Game 2:

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Keep Dreaming

Excerpts from Enuma Okoro’s article on dreams and related painting:

Every one of us has had dreams of something we wish to happen — or to make happen — in our lives, and I’m sure every one of us has had moments when we question the validity of our dreams, or the reasonableness of them. What keeps some of us inspired enough to keep on dreaming anew, or hopeful enough to hold on to unrealised dreams?

……

Whatever it is we dream of, it takes courage to stand firm and hopeful for those dreams to come to pass, especially when nothing about our circumstances seems to encourage a dream’s fulfilment.

……

Though our dreams are our own, we often need a community to keep them alive, and to help us to see them through to reality, even when we are tempted to give up.

……

Allowing ourselves to keep dreaming is ultimately dependent on our ability to sustain hope, to believe in the possibility of a different reality regardless of what things look like. What we believe is possible relies on what we are able to conjure in our imagination, even in dire times. So much of our power and agency begins there.

……

It is the dream of all involved to win the race, but there will be only one winning team. Understandably, we are often so focused on a particular end result that any other outcome is regarded as failure. But I wonder if we cheat ourselves when we limit our definitions of what constitutes an actualised dream. To be one of the people in this painting who does not leave with the dreamt-for prize does not necessarily mean the race was run in vain, even with the disappointment or despair that might follow.

Anyone who has worked hard towards something knows that we are never the same person at the end as we were when we began, regardless of the outcome. But who we end up being is also determined by our own perspectives and the story we choose to live. The art of dreaming should be unending, as circular as this relay track. No matter what we achieve or when, the goal is to never lose the ability to dream.

……

We might think dreaming is a luxurious use of time that only certain people can afford. But dreaming is for everyone, and it is often the thing that keeps us motivated enough to take the next step forward. The other thought I had was how much courage it takes to dream of something beyond our present circumstances, and to maintain that dream in the face of challenge and hardship. Far from dreaming being a luxury, it can be painful and courageous work.

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The Lunchbox

I enjoy the movie. The message seems to be that it’s never too late to start living life, and an important element is to be able to connect with someone. Sometimes a simple change in environment and some good food are all we need to cheer us up. Taking time to reflect and paying more attention to people around us might also help change our perspectives. 

From the protagonist Saajan Fernandes:

Life is strange…I think we forget things if we have no one to tell them to…

……

I don’t know when I became old…Maybe it was that morning...maybe it was many many mornings ago...and maybe if I had forgotten something in the bath room before I would have found out sooner…

……

Life kept on going and lulled me with its motions, I kept rocking back and forth as it threw me left and then it threw me right…and then before I knew it…

From the Dabbawallah:

Harvard people came and did a study on us…we always deliver right they said and you say we deliver wrong?
The king of England has also come, he has seen our delivery system, invited us to his wedding…
 images
 

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Montaigne and how he thinks about life

How to Live: Or a Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer, a biography of Montaigne and how he thinks about life. Below are some excerpts I like.

On mindfulness (from the author):

If you fail to grasp life, it will elude you. If you do grasp it, it will elude you anyway. So you must follow it–and “you must drink quickly as though from a rapid stream that will not always flow.”

The trick is to maintain a kind of naive amazement of each instant of experience–but, as Montaigne learned, one of the best techniques for doing is to write about anything. Simply describing an object on your table, or the view from your window, opens your eyes to how marvelous such ordinary things are.

On self-understanding (author quoting Montaigne):

“If others examined themselves attentively, as I do, they would find themselves, as I do, full of inanity and nonsense. Get rid of it I cannot without getting rid of myself. We are all steeped in it, one as much as another; but those who are aware of it are a little better off–though I don’t know.”

On life (author quoting Montaigne):

I like temperate and moderate natures.

The most beautiful lives, to my mind, are those that conform to the common human pattern, with order, but without miracle and without eccentricity.

On old age (from the author):

Old age provides an opportunity to recognize one’s fallibility in a way youth usually finds difficult. Seeing one’s decline written on body and mind, on accepts that one is limited and human. By understanding that age does not make one wise, one attains a kind of wisdom after all.

Learning to live, in the end, is learning to live with imperfection in this way, and even to embrace it.

In the chapter “Keep a private room behind the shop”, Montaigne noted “Sorry the man, to my mind, who has not in his own home a place to be all by himself, to pay his court privately to himself, to hide!” I also would like to have a private room to retreat to from time to time to think and do my own works, but then there is this cartoon.

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Art of Balance

Emerson once said that “We are always getting to live, but never living.” We know it’s important to enjoy the present since life’s short, and we never know what’ll happen tomorrow. After all, it’s only possible to live happily ever after on a moment-to-moment basis.  If ‘now’ is what matters, do we need goals, plans, or a New Year resolution? I think there’s a role for them. They help us think about what things we want, why we want them, and how we can achieve them. They act as a guide and help us plan what to do in the present. What we do today will have an impact on our life in the future. And as long as we’re alive, tomorrow will arrive, and future will become present.

Life is about striving a balance: balance between now and future, planning and living, between time spent on my ambitions and time for other people, between working hard toward my goals and enjoying the moments, and between taking my dreams seriously and learning to laugh at myself. It’s also a balance between self-control and spontaneity, honesty and compassion, generosity and thriftiness, caution and boldness, and feeling and reason.

Some of them may not be compatible at the same time, but I believe they’re not incompatible.  Balancing them and deciding when to focus on which in order to make life most enjoyable for both the present and the future is an art I’m learning about.

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Life is a misery?

To ease a friend’s worry, I decide to continue my analogy on life. If life’s like a game, then it can be fun and enjoyable. There are people who care only about winning and getting ahead and so missed out the pleasures. And a difference between life and a game is that life doesn’t provide us with end goals, so the meaning of success or winning depend on each individual. A friend once told me that life’s a misery. But I don’t agree with him. I think life’s more neutral than miserable. Bad things do happen, and lots of things are beyond our control or understanding, but to me the opposites are equally true with lots of good and wonderful things around.

It’s interesting to learn and ponder about how the world works and what are my parts in it. Although my view of how life’s like and how the world works is more or less neutral, my attitudes toward life are different. I’m generally positive toward life and happy to be alive (even though I may often not satisfy with myself). Here are few reasons why I like life.

1. There’re plenty of things to learn and think about in life (e.g. art, music, others’ thoughts and behaviors, and obviously life itself), so life’s never boring.

2. There’re people who understand me and appreciate what I do or capable of doing, and people who don’t care what I can do but still appreciate me, so I don’t have to face everything in life alone.

3. There’re people who are dedicated at what they do and produce works that move and inspire me (e.g. music, movies, drawing and painting); these people show me the possibilities in life.

4. There’re lots of beauties in nature. My two favorite scenery are 1) lying on my back watching millions of stars and 2) standing in a open space where I can see the blue sky joins the bluer sea below at an infinite horizon (let’s call it all blue). These things, although simple, can be enough to make me feel that life’s wonderful.

5. There’re dreams and possibilities that I look forward to (e.g. the thoughts of being passionate and good at something, having great time with life-long friends, or living my ideal lifestyle).

Hope this blog will convince my friends that I’m ok and heading for somewhere better (My personality and lifestyle are probably too dull to qualify me into a mental hospital ^^).

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